REMAKES: JUST STOP IT ALREADY. PLEASE.

You will have to excuse my apoplexy. There are few things that make me seethe about the movie industry right now than the subject of remakes.

These damn things are popping up left right and centre lately, and they are getting to be ever more predictable. Case in point- recently we've had remakes of all of the big horror icons from years gone by, such as Freddy Krueger, Jason Voorhees, Leatherface and Michael Myers, fair enough, the originals were made decades ago.

But now we have things like the remakes of Let The Right One In (Let Me In), [rec] (Quarantine) and news of an American remake of The Orphanage coming too! What next? remaking Twilight six months after each film comes out? Actually, that one might work.

Nevertheless, this constant stream of remakes dilutes the power of the originals, and as many people already know what's going to happen in them, they are becoming an increasingly pointless waste of everyone's time.

Stick to the originals, people. Enjoy them and appreciate them, and maybe one day Hollywood will remember what it's like to put something new out that isn't based on a Japanese or European flick that most of the core audience will already have seen.

Nightmare on Elm Street Remake- Screening Reviews Start To Surface

Early reviews of test screenings of the NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET remake have started to turn up online, and while they are of an unfinished print of the film, there are still legitimate concerns for fans of the classic film.

It seems that a bunch of things that made the original Nightmare on Elm Street movie so special are missing from this reboot, such as the iconic 'tongue phone' shot and the hugely memorable 'blood fountain' that are so very much loved by horror fans.

But that's not all. It also appears that much of the atmosphere of the original is missing too, not helped by a mediocre cast. Jackie Earle Hayley (aka Rorschach in the WATCHMEN movie) apparently gives a great performance as a truly evil incarnation of Freddy Krueger. This is great news, as previous Elm Street movies (in particular entries 4, 5 and 6 in the original batch of films) saw the character become a cartoonish joke.

This time round he's the real deal, scarred and terrifying, cold and pure evil. There are also mentions of his background as a child molester and murderer being talked about more in the film, making his character even more unsavoury for the audience. This is cool, as Freddy Krueger should always be the villain and not the hero of a film like this.

Hopefully the film will be tightened up for its release, and some of he pacing issues and scare cues are dealt with. Now that we know this won't be brilliant but it also won't be terrible, we can all stop worrying. It's the same old remake deal. decent, but could be so much better, and nowhere near as great as the original.

Modern Horror- Does it suck like Lestat?

Modern Horror- Does it Suck Like Lestat?

By Andrew Hawnt

No doubt you’re going to take me for a bit of a horror snob, but I have to say this. Modern horror is really getting into a bad state, and something needs to change. Hear me out.

Look at the current slate of releases. Remakes, sequels, and endless rehashings of tired old formulas. There seems to be a waning interest in original movies and a sadly growing fascination with no-brainers. SAW IV, Rob Zombie’s HALLOWEEN, hell, even WRONG TURN is getting a sequel! Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy cheap sequels and I do revel in B movies, but there does come a point where you want something NEW.

Hollywood is struggling, really struggling with decent horror at the moment. One factor in this struggle is the simple fact that all the decent writers are working in TV now (currently a vastly more lucrative market for writers). Another is that apart from maybe Lionsgate, there are few companies with the clout or the enthusiasm to push new horror to a wider audience. Granted there are many companies out there with either one attribute or another but never one with both.

There is a stigma against horror in many people’s eyes. Many execs think it is SUPPOSED to be moronic, and are more than happy to churn out more and more sequels with increasingly smaller returns and increasingly bad results.

The independent movie studio CINEMACARBRE is something I need to mention. Here is a
small company churning out film after film after film of the same old killer/slasher/teens in woods/haunted house/mass murder formulas. The films are shot for miniscule budgets on DV cameras and chucked out on DVD with covers that don’t usually give you a clue as to the essentially home-movie quality of the contents.

I admit I’ve sat through plenty of their movies and have taken some kind of perverse pleasure in predicting every plot twist and taking in every terribly executed (pun intended) special effect, but amongst their catalogue I can’t say there’s one title that I’d watch again. I’m all for movies getting made with no budget, but at least TRY and raise them from the mire of the formulaic!

I guess my ire is generally aimed just at the US market, as there still seems to be plenty of fresh blood (groan) to be gulped down in the Asian and European markets, where there is less emphasis on appeasing the masses and more on artistry and storytelling, tension and chills. Prime examples? Night Watch (I am yet to see Day Watch but am very excited by it), Pan’s Labyrinth (breathtaking), and the constant stream of Asian terror-fests that turn up on DVD in the west.

Why? Because these are films that, while they may adhere to some clichés, they do so with style, substance and the onscreen clout to pull them off. This is something missing from US horror, which has become a relentless mess of CG gore (CG gore?! What the hell is all that about?!), MTV style editing, generic plots, lousy acting and little care.

Horror is supposed to SCARE people isn’t it? Fair enough there will be the odd chill or the odd shock, but there are very few films out there that offer anything more. I want to be unsettled by horror films. I want to come away from them feeling slightly wrong about the world and I want to feel like I’ve got my moneys worth of decent direction as well as gore!

Rant over.

Incidentally, Romero’s new one, DIARY OF THE LIVING DEAD, sounds pretty damn cool, and works as an example of what I’m getting bat. Here’s a guy who pretty much invented the contemporary zombie movie genre, coming back with another entry which turns the formula on its head with a unique mix of ‘archive’ footage, drama and flashbacks that pieces together a very compelling story that many more American film makers would do well to take note of.